Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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