Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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