He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
