i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize