Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
