i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
