If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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