Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
