don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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