im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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