Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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