I just made out with a guy for $7.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
