The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize