Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
