Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
