i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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