i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
