I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
