Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
this hospital has no fireball
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
