ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
