my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
zippers are such a cool invention
Girls should come with a carfax report
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
