i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
