he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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