i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize