dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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