This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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