We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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