There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
