we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The air was thick with penises
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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