Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
