I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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