I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
