What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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