Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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