Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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