I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Randomize
