if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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