how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
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