i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize