My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
