someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
