Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize