Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
