grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
