and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
