Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
