Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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