You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
