I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
