i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
