I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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