I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
