he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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