so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
