Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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