Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
not ubering you a puppy
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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