Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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