the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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