is your mom at the bar?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
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There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
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You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So vagazzling was a success
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