I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
