I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
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