haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
